Mystery's Elvis opener

You: Hey ? … did you know … that Elvis DIED ?
Her: yes.
You: … his HAIR?
Her: no.
You: Guess what color his actual hair was?
Her: I donno, blond?
You: Close. DIRTY blond. Isn’t that sorta fucked up
Her: yeah.
You: I mean, can you actually imagine Elvis Pelvis as a Beach Boy blond? Here’s my thought though …
do you think that he would have become FAMOUS as a blond?
Her: I donno.
You: See, I don’t think so. If he didn’t die his hair, its quite likely he would never have looked
BADBOY enough and get all the girls to swoon.? Yeah, I can see it in your eyes haa - you
like badboys just like the rest of em … but don’t expect me to dye my hair for you!